Stop the World…I Want to Get Off

Seriously, do you ever have mornings like that?  You wake up and the last thing you want to do is get out of the bed and face the world.  

And why is it when you have to get up and go to work “just 5 more minutes” turns into 45 more minutes and when you don’t have anywhere to be you can’t get those extra 5 mintes of snooze time no matter how hard you try?  This happens to me all the time!

Well regardless, I’m up now.  I’m blogging.  Promised myself I’d do this everyday, or at least as much as possible this year, and give myself the opportunity to get some of this crap clogging my brain OUT.  Releasing pressure, so to speak. 

Where to begin…

For starters, homeschool begins again for my daughter next Monday and I’ve got a ton of work to get done.  I’m the Queen of Procrastination, a long-held title that maybe I’m not so proud of.  No doubt I’ll be scrambling this weekend to try and get lesson plans done. 

I feel horribly guilty for not getting any work done for Ghost Walk yesterday, but I just couldn’t seem to find my mojo.  Long gone are the days of Prozac and how I miss those days!   The beautiful thing about Prozac is I could still be bummed out but I just didn’t care.  I want THAT life back.

As it is, I care about a lot of things probably too much.  I tend to dwell, I overthink, I rip things apart in my mind, think it all to death, make more out of what really is, and basically make myself nuts trying to answer questions that likely have no real answers.  Or at least no answers that will make me happy.  The truth is, I don’t have to like the answers – I just need to know what they are.  And I’m tired.  I am SO tired.  Mentally drained.  To the point where I’m simply stymied.  I get stuck and when that happens I don’t function well on a day to day level.  It’s like that saying  goes “I’ve so much to do I just decided to not do any of it.”  Easy solution right?  Yea, not so much.  Then I’m stuck all over again with the guilt of not accomplishing anything.  It’s a seriously vicious and ugly cycle. 

People have this impression of me, I believe, of a person who just doesn’t care.  It’s not true.  I do care.  I care and I worry and I stress just like everyone else.  The thing is, because of circumstances, I try really hard to bury it all and play the role of “strong one” when in reality, my strength is wearing out.  It’ll be interesting if nothing else to see how far I can go before something completely breaks me. 

Oh Prozac…come back to me!  I miss health insurance more than I can say.  I’ve got all of this “stuff” wrong with me, some of which is not good, and no way to fix any of it.  Which brings me to yet another difficult task I must face – finding a job with benefits.  I have a great job right now and would like to think that maybe it could turn into a full-time staff position but then I’m certainly not going to get my hopes up.  So it’s dust off the old resume and get to huntin’.  Soon.  Very soon. 

This year is going to be a GOOD year.  I’ll see to it.  Changes will happen and things will improve.  Despite my whiny attitude this morning, I do feel somewhat positive about 2012.  Happy New Year!

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5 thoughts on “Stop the World…I Want to Get Off

  1. Awesome story, but I wanted to ask. I just pulled my son outta school and told the school I’m homeschooling him. He is struggling badly and his classes are having anywhere from 30-44 kids in his class and with my son having trouble with studies and his lack of patience, he was starting to go down a IDGAF mode which is not good. He is 16 and has not on credit. So I just went to local library and got some books to help him just pass the GED test. Is there another way? How do they get high school diploma from home school. I had looked it up and they said I could make one up and just have his curriculum I have for him recorded with the work he does.

    • I’m happy to help, too. I have a whole section on my blog for homeschooling. A lot will depend on where you live. Some places, like where I live, will allow dual/concurrent enrollment at the university. He’ll get college credits and high school credits (for free, because that’s how things work here, although we do have to buy the text books).

      Another option is Penn Foster. Well, yikes. I haven’t actually written about options for high school, but there are loads of them. I’ll try to get cracking on that at some point this week.

      A lot of states have yahoo lists for homeschoolers; there’s even a homeschool list for making the transition from high school to college.

      Right now, let him de-school and adjust to being home…. 🙂

      Feel free to hop over and leave me any questions you may have- I’ll see if I can point you in the right direction~! 🙂

      • Home schooling my daughter is THE BEST decision I’ve ever made, aside from having her. 🙂 It is hard work but worth every single effort we put into it. Admittedly, she gets sick of me from time to time but we work through it and my Mom can take over for a day or two when Em needs a break from me. It truly is an incredible experience. I was so glad when I found your blog!

      • What is this “work” you speak of?! 😆

        We’re 9 years in; my three girls have never been to school, and I can honestly say we will never be back “in the system.” There are all kinds of options; we’ve been lucky to be in a state with minimal requirements, which has allowed us to mostly unschool.

        High school age gave me stress until we got that all sorted out. Now I’m not as stressed, but still, I need to get one done before I’ll totally relax and not have those moments of panic, lol.

        A good place to start to learn about state requirements is the HSLDA website: http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp even if a person isn’t religiously inclined. This site stays current (but still check with your home state’s DOE), but is a really good starting point so folks can get an idea from the beginning of what they are going to be required to do.

  2. Hey! All counties and states are different. If you want to tell me where you live, I’ll be happy to help you do some research. Where I live, they aren’t very strict with the rules on homeschooling. Basically, I have to submit an Intent to Homeschool form at the beginning of the year then send in her attendance records once a month. They do not check the chosen curriculum or her schoolwork, or they’ve not yet and she’s in fifth grade now. Testing options are available online and as well as through independent testing offices. We also have community collges in our area that offer GED prep classes/testing. So, first thing is don’t over stress yourself because you’ve got time. Check online and just Google “GED testing options” for the city/state you live in and make some calls to colleges/universities in your area to see what they offer. I found this site for you http://www.gedforfree.com/ and it might help, as well. Seems to be all free. Also try http://www.passged.com/. I know the Board of Education where I live has a lot of information on homeschooling so yours might be able to lead you to where you need to go for your son’s test when the time comes and you might to also try the Department of Education for your state. Tons of resources so no worries. With a little research you and your son will be just fine! If you would like to email me privately, my address lisasummerlin@ymail.com and I’d be happy to help anyway I can!

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