My husband, soon to be ex-husband, is one of those men who can donate sperm but can’t seem to manage to actually be a Dad.
While married to his first wife, who I’ve always liked more than him anyway, he bailed on her. Numerous times. Leaving her alone to raise two kids without his help. When they divorced, he seldom paid child support, coming up with one excuse after another why he couldn’t pay her. I know he was lying to her because I heard him do it. He didn’t just leave her once. He left her several times. Leaving behind great kids who got hurt repeatedly because of his selfishness.
When he and I married, despite warnings from friends and family that I should NOT marry him, he did the same to me. The first time he left, our daughter was just a tiny baby. He said he was going to work one day and just did not come home…for WEEKS. I had no job, he left me with no money, no way to pay our rent or utilities. I had no idea where he was. I was stupid. He came home, I took him back. Three years ago he left again. Came home briefly. Then left AGAIN.
He has never paid me child support either. He does not bother to call Emily.
I’ve toyed off and on for the past few months about letting him come back here. Helping him get some things straightened out, helping him get on his feet. My ONLY reason for considering this was because of the kids. I want them happy. I want them to be okay. But today, that all came to an end.
My daughter, Emily, said to me this morning: “Mom, I’d rather be the one to visit him. That way, when it comes time to leave, I get to be the one that walks out this time.” My daughter is 11 years old. It isn’t fair she has to feel this way about her Dad.
His kids from his first marriage are amazing. They have been so hurt by him. They are unable to trust him, yet they’ve grown and have matured and are doing really well. ALL because of the great job their Mom did – ALONE.
He has spent years lying to anyone willing to listen. Lying about his kids, about his wives, about his family. He feels no remorse. He has stolen from his kids, from his family, from me.
Today is THE day I let him go. For good. It is impossible to be any kind of friend to someone like that. Give an inch, take a mile ya know? He has never appreciated anything anyone has ever done for him. Not ever. Nor will he.
I will no longer be angry. I will no longer be hurt. I will no longer give a damn. His life. His choices. His problems.
I am proud of the adults his oldest kids have become. I will forever love them. I have a ton of respect for his first wife because she is so strong and has done so well with the kids. I know how much she loved him and how much he hurt her, yet she kept going.
As will I. My daughter is no fool. She has had to grow up way too fast because of his bad decisions, but she’s smarter now and she knows now what he’s about. She won’t let him hurt her again because she’ll never trust him again.
So…my this is my final farewell to you, Rick. I wish you well but know this is the last time you will be allowed to be a part of my life.
Divorce imminent and hopefully swift.