FYI – It’s NOT Saturday! I’ll Be Rambling…

Somewhere I lost a day.  Hate it when that happens.  I’ve spent the last couple of days in a semi-funk and guess I lost one.  Woke up thinking it was Saturday.  It isn’t.

Proud of myself though.  Yesterday, at some point, I became overwhelmed with the need to eat cake.  Lots and lots of cake.  Possibly birthday cake.  Or maybe something that would force others to have “Death by Chocolate” engraved on my tombstone.  I ALMOST went to the store and caved in, but I didn’t.  Took a few deep breaths, came to my senses and stuck with my fat-free graham crackers and low-fat peanut butter.  Whew!  Dodged a bullet there because I would’ve regretted the hell out of that.  I’m TRYING to eat a little healthier, lay off the sodas, drink more water, etc.  I’m not making any radical lifestyle changes but just from not drinking so much soda I feel a little better.  Coke – of the cola kind – is my downfall.  Hard to get away from the stuff.  However, I’m going to keep on keeping on.  Drinking one every now and again isn’t so bad.  Drinking 3 or 4 a day IS bad.

I’ve decided to treat this writing thing as a job since I don’t have a real one right now.  I’ll set my hours, work during those hours and hopefully this will clear my brain enough that I can sleep better at night.

A few years ago, I had a hernia as a result of weakened muscles in my abdomen after a gall bladder surgery.  Either this old hernia has re-popped out or whatever the hell it is they do or I’ve got a new one.  QUITE uncomfortable.  No insurance.  Learning to live with it.  Totally blows.

Recently, I’ve had some trouble communicating with Bret.  Actually it’s not a recent thing.  He’s done this whole ignoring me thing since the beginning.  I’ll say something and he’s totally ignores it, doesn’t acknowledge what I’ve said and starts to talk about something else.  The other day he asked me how my day was.  Before I could finish, he over-talked me and changed subjects.  I’m trying to explain about the hernia/pain thing – again ignored.  I sent him a message on Facebook about how it made me feel when he ignored me.  He ignored the message except to say to call him because he doesn’t have time to respond to my message.  Doesn’t have time?  Can’t make time?  Hmmmm.  Isn’t that kind of the same thing as being told “you aren’t worth my time?”  I sent the written message to try to get my point across because he doesn’t listen to me on the phone.   Am I being selfish?  I kind of don’t think so.  Nobody likes to be ignored and made to feel like they aren’t worthy of being listened to.  He does this.  He does this often.  I like him.  I like him a lot but jeez…how does one communicate with someone like that?  I’m clueless.  It’s not as if I have these mind-blowing, profound things to say.  I’m not schooled in politics like he is and I’m not all witty and clever but c’mon!  If you’re going to ask how someone’s day went at least be willing to let a person finish a sentence!  He tells me he has poor social skills and I understand that.  He spends most of his time in a truck, driving, alone.  My problem with that is poor social skills can’t always be used as an excuse to be rude and that’s how this whole thing comes off.  Just plain rude.  At least with Franky, I know what the hell to expect.  Drunk = mean.  Sober = love.  The end.  No guessing there!   Of course, I guess there’s no guessing with Bret either.  If I’m speaking that = ignored.  The end.

Lisa’s Book Bag is coming along.  I actually had someone send me a message about 3 days after I started the book page.  He told me he’d like it but it seemed dead to him and oh well, sorry.  He would if he could.  I had to laugh out loud!  It was new – only 3 days old!  Give it time, man.  Give it time.  It truly doesn’t matter to me if he does or not.  I’d rather have a handful of friends who actually enjoy reading to like it than a bunch of people who don’t love reading to be part of something that doesn’t interest them.  The folks who’ve taken the time to visit the page are real friends.  That’s what matters most to me.

Wishing you guys a wonderful, happy Friday!

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11 thoughts on “FYI – It’s NOT Saturday! I’ll Be Rambling…

  1. Rule number one with this “type” of guy. Do not turn on yourself and assume that it is something that you are doing.

    Number two. What “exactly” and be very honest… what exactly do you like about him?

    Number three. I don’t like him. Based totally on what you’re saying here I don’t like him. Not one bit.

    It kind of sounds like… he fills some needs for you, which is fine. However anything past that “normal” relationship building, he’s unavailable and does not reciprocate. So, it’s like this honey, change the way you view this relationship OR kick it to the curb.

    This is not going to change … not from your explanation and DO NOT turn on yourself and wonder what it is that’s wrong with you. It’s not you. It’s HIM … Jussst you know, give it quiet thought. Remember, you already feel bad… and I bet you 100 you don’t feel bad with others in this way right? Nooooo… you are not going to “fix” this, that’s his job and you’ve told him and he’s still ignoring you.

    I smell fire… be careful. 🙂

    • I’ve got all kinds of warning bells going off in my head! He sent another message earlier that said if I wanted to call him I could b/c he needs help staying awake. Really? Not b/c he wants to talk about what’s bugging me but b/c he needs help staying awake. Whatever! My best friend has told me she doesn’t doesn’t feel warm & fuzzy about this at all & quite frankly I don’t either. So…to be honest, I truly don’t feel bad about anything I’ve done – or haven’t done. You’re right. It’s something HE needs to fix & I sure can’t fix it for him. Moving on!!! 😀

      • He just doesn’t sound right to me… the whole exquisite pain post I made mirrors something like this guy. It’s not my intention to be an ass but it’s all on his terms.

        Listen to the bells, are they like… pretty christmas tune bells or light airy bells 🙂 (giggle)

        It sounds like… (if I may because it’s complete speculation on my part) emotionally chasing a man who isn’t available to you. What do you think? Because this guy is not open… not in that healthy way.

      • They are loud, clanging, booming DON’T GO THERE bells! LOL!

        It’s possible I am chasing someone not emotionally available and I’ll give that some thought. The only problem I see w/ that theory is I know I don’t have the energy for it. But I will give what you said some thought. Of course you may…I value your opinion tremendously!

      • Like Big Ben? 🙂 (snicker, giggle…hahaha!)

        If I may, I wanna rephrase what you said here… “The only problem you see is you don’t have the energy for it.” Instead of this …

        “This is the only person who makes me feel this way in my life right now and I’m worth more than chasing someone who doesn’t value me”.

        Food for thought… YOU think for you. Ultimately it’s your decision, I’m only saying this because I’ve been there and ignored certain things.

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