Feeling a bit unsettled. I think that is the word I’m looking for.
Lately, I’ve dealt with a lot of anxiety. For awhile it had subsided somewhat and I’d gotten to a place where I barely noticed it but the past couple of weeks? WOWZA. It’s had me by my non-existent kahunas. It’s not been crippling like in the past but it’s been weird. Just weird.
I’ve blogged about my anxiety issues before so I won’t beat a dead horse. Well no. I don’t like that. Beat a dead horse. WTF? Who came up with that shit anyway? Why would anyone beat a dead horse? That is horrible. I don’t know why anyone would hurt an animal. I read yesterday where someone had dumped a blind and deaf dog in a river. People are hateful. Lucy would never do that. Right now she’s working with Little Ricky’s dog Fred to teach him to roll over. Which is funny. Lucy is so great. Old TV is the best.
OR IS MY PROBLEM JUST AN INABILITY TO FOCUS???
My point here is I’m all over the place and I can’t get settled. There is too much going on in my head. I start one writing project, don’t finish it, move to another one, don’t finish THAT one, move to another one.
Part of my problem is I have to sit on my bed to work and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. I want OFF this bed and into something that resembles a grown-up work space. My thought was I’d knock out my closet which is tiny and mostly worthless and create a small office space in my bedroom. I don’t have the money to do this right now (I’ll have to paint and do some work on the walls) so that’s out.
Because I’m currently unemployed, I spend a lot of time in my pj’s. Before you scoff, I’ve got cute pj’s. I have a pj fetish in the worst way. If someone gave me $1,000 right now the first thing I’d do is buy a new pair of jams. (Oh hey! There’s an idea! Can someone do that please??) I often buy the kind that almost don’t look like jammies. I refer to these as “lounge wear.” It’s my way of removing the “just damn, I’m too lazy to get dressed” mentality so I feel less guilty about it. I mean I get up, brush my teeth, bathe…you know all that hygiene stuff. I’m not disgusting. But I do love my pj’s. So it hit me yesterday that maybe if I’d get dressed I’d feel more productive and that maybe not being fully dressed is what’s stopping me from getting anything finished.
I quickly dismissed that and decided that I’ll be the Hugh Hefner of the Writing World. Minus the girls, the parties, the money, the porn and that killer mansion. Ok. Minus the girls. If I’m being honest here the rest of that stuff doesn’t sound so bad. Anyway…
I’m really writing this blog because I’m hoping for advice from all of you. How do you get and STAY motivated? Are there any ideas or tricks you use to keep you on task? What about time management? Do you treat writing like an 8 – 5 job? What system do you use to get writing projects finished? Where do you write? Do you want to come help me knock down this closet and fix my office space? Can you bring paint? A paint brush? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME!!!
I don’t know what to do. I’ve got a publisher who wants to work with me and I’ve got nothing to publish. I’m getting bummed out.