The Department of Entanglement…

Relations Rep:  “Thank you for calling the Department of Entaglement.  How may I help you?”

Hennie Pennie:  “Yes, I’m stuck in a very weird and mostly dead-end relationship and don’t know how to get out.”

RR:  “Ma’am are your legs broken?”

HP:  “I’m sorry…what did you just say?”

RR:  “Nothing.  Attempt at humor.  So you say you are stuck.  What seems to be the problem?”

HP:  “I’m dating a man who doesn’t understand me.  I’m tired of it and I just want out.”

RR:  “Ms. Pennie, men throughout history have never understood women.  This isn’t new.  This probably won’t change any time soon either.”

HP:  “Yes, I know but I don’t care about all men.  Just this one.  I need him to GET me.”

RR:  “Ma’am, whining won’t help.”

HP:  “Did you just call me whiny?”

RR:  “Well, part of my job is to help you with a reality check and in doing that, I must be honest with you so yes.  I called you whiny.  Because you are.  You say you want him to GET you but yet you want out.  Which is it?”

HP:  “I don’t know.  I mean I’d like him to understand me and how I feel and stay with him.  I want him to love me the same way I love him.  I want more time with him.  I miss him terribly. ”

RR:  “I think what you need is a lamp.  To rub.  Maybe one with genies.”

HP:  “I’m not really sure I appreciate your sarcasm.  It isn’t helping.”

RR:  “It’s not hurting either, is it?”

HP:  “No, I guess not.”

RR:  “Alright then.  Now, before you go blaming him for all that is wrong in this relationship, have you taken a long hard look at yourself?  Is there anything you are doing that maybe you shouldn’t be doing?  Anything that maybe you should be doing differently?”

HP:  “Honestly, I’ve been so busy blaming him I’ve not given my own faults much consideration.”

RR:  “Do you feel you should do that?”

HP:  “Possibly.”

RR:  “Possibly?”

HP:  “Ok, yes.  I should.”

RR:  “That’s better.  I’d recommend at this time that you put aside all of his issues and things you don’t like about him.  Forget what he’s doing wrong for just a moment and investigate your own feelings and responsibility in this relationship. He is a MAN.  You have to give him credit for that.  Or take it away.  Whichever.  The point is you need to realize that men and women are so vastly different that it’s a wonder babies are ever made.  Look at YOU first.  Can you do that?”

HP:  “I believe so.”

RR:  “You ‘believe’ so?”

HP:  “Jeez, you’re busting my chops here.  Why are you being so difficult?”

RR:  “I’m just doing my job, Ms. Pennie.  You called me, remember?”

HP:  “Fine.  Yes.  I will evaluate my own feelings.”

RR:  “Very good.  Now, I’d like to give you my name and direct number so that we can continue with telephone sessions and hopefully this will help you.  Would that be agreeable?”

HP:  “Will this cost me a lot of money?”

RR:  “You’re putting a price on your sanity and saving your relationship?  Really Ms.  Pennie!”

HP:  “I’m just asking!  Sheesh!”

RR:  “No.  These calls are free.  I’m here to help – at no charge.  My name is Barb E. Dahl and you can reach me at 1-804-382-4747.”

HP:  “Barb E. Dahl, really?

RR:  “Um, Hennie Pennie, really?”

HP:  “Point taken.  Okay.  When should I call back?”

RR:  “Let’s give your self-evaluation a week.  See how you feel then.  Will that be okay?”

HP:  “That sounds fine.  Wait…does that phone number spell out what I think it does?”

RR:  “Probably.  Have a goodnight and remember…think about YOU first and then we’ll move from there.”

HP:  “You got it.  Good-bye.”

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