**DISCLAIMER: Please note, before you get all wadded up and unable to resist the urge to tell me how wrong I am, I am ONLY speaking from a personal perspective. I do NOT speak for all men and women. I do NOT claim to be any kind of expert on relationships although I damn well have the right because I’ve been through 3 marriages/divorces and countless other failed affairs. So keep calm and just think about what I’m about to say. End disclaimer.**
The other day I was watching something on TV. Don’t remember what but the guy said to his alleged girlfriend, “Can’t you just lighten up? Go with the flow?” This as a result of her asking him exactly what was going on with their relationship. I thought to myself, “No you idiot. We can’t just lighten up and go with the flow. We’re women! We NEED to know! Get a clue dumbass.” That led to this blog.
Women (some women, not all – relax) can’t really go with the flow. While men are good at seeing details and the little every day things, women are big picture thinkers. We (Or is it just me? I really am not sure) need to see ahead. We need to plan. We need to know EXACTLY what role the man in our life plays in our future. We daydream. We want to know if we can include our man in said daydreams. We need to be secure and feel safe and we need to know if our man will make us feel that way.
I can go with the flow of everything EXCEPT relationships with men.
Plumbing goes to pot (haha), no problem.
Bad hair day? Ponytail.
Feeling lazy? Not going to care but will go back to bed.
Car trouble? Screw it. Call AAA and let them handle it.
Life experiences seldom ever faze me. Shit happens, not busting a sweat and I’m rolling with the punches but with relationships, I have to know. I have to know what it means to a man. I need to know where I fit into his life. Call me selfish or paranoid or just plain bitchy – I don’t care – but that’s how I am. I don’t do wishy-washy very well at all. To me, it’s all about being honest and saying what you feel. Why NOT express how you feel? Maybe you’re not good with words. That’s okay! Be creative. Find a way.
And THAT leads me to this…
About a week ago a friend got a text from a guy that said, “When will I get to see you?” READ: Booty call! Men, we are NOT stupid. Know this. Don’t play games. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t think for one second we can’t see through the lines and the insane loads of bullshit you throw at us. If all you’re after is sex, say it. Think you’ll offend us? You might but at least we’ll give you credit for being truthful. If we’re not offended you might also get laid. Want something more from a relationship? Tell us. Will we want the same? Don’t know but neither will you if you don’t try. Want to just be friends? That’s perfectly okay. Who doesn’t enjoy making new friends?
(This is where that whole don’t get mad and start yelling at me about how wrong I am thing comes into play. That last paragraph applies to women as well, so men you should know we know there are some of us out there that aren’t worth a damn when it comes to relationships. We get it or at least I do).
Relationships are scary. After you’ve had your heart broken time and time again it gets harder each time to put yourself out there and trust. Nobody wants to get hurt but if we don’t take risks and we don’t honestly express ourselves are we not risking more by losing what could possibly be a great thing with someone who cares for us?
Love worth a leap of faith? I believe it is. Most definitely.
Something to think about and this goes for men and women: listen to your instincts. People don’t give themselves near enough credit for what their intuition tells them. Focus and give it a try. You’ll be surprised at how well you become at weeding through the losers and the ones who just want to waste your time. Trust me. I’m focused NOW and I know.