Why Relationships Fail

Before I even begin I’m going to play it safe and toss out the disclaimer I used in yesterday’s blog

**DISCLAIMER:  Please note, before you get all wadded up and unable to resist the urge to tell me how wrong I am, I am ONLY speaking from a personal perspective.  I do NOT speak for all men and women.  I do NOT claim to be any kind of expert on relationships although I damn well have the right because I’ve been through 3 marriages/divorces and countless other failed affairs.  So keep calm and just think about what I’m about to say.  End disclaimer.**

Now.  Let’s do this.

As most of you know, I’m a Facebook Whore.  I’m on there ALL the time.  I can’t get enough of it.  My entire life plays out on FB and some nights I can’t sleep because all I want to do is endlessly scroll through my news feed.  I’ve got issues.  Not new information and I don’t even care that I’m addicted.  However, from time to time (or almost every day) I see things that make me scratch my head and wonder and because I am a classic over-thinker that’s not hard to do.

There is this page I’ve liked that is basically a girl’s diary of sorts.  Status updates are written to sound like a girl is writing to her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, whichever the case may be.  Some of it is helpful and I’ve hung on to it for that reason but some of it is just stupid and reasons why relationships fail.  For example:

1

YOU CAN’T.

How do people get it in their heads that love means being miserable?  People, it is not love that hurts!  Love is not supposed to be painful.

2

NEGATIVE ATTITUDES.

Wrong!  Don’t go into ANY relationship focusing on what you will lose.  Focus on what you will gain.  If you go into it already thinking about what you might lose, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

4

PLEASE DON’T.

This is just a me thing but unless you know I’m awake at 3 a.m., don’t call unless your bleeding and dying.  Tell me you love me after I wake up and have had coffee.  Then you can share with me that you were thinking of me at 3 a.m.  I’ll love you more for not calling and waking me up.

5

BULLSHIT.

If someone you are in a relationship sends you a text, take time to respond.  ACKNOWLEDGE this person you are supposedly in love with!  If you can’t do that much then what is the point?  What damn good are you?

6

DOUCHEBAG.

Nobody and I do mean NOBODY should ever take advice from this asshole.  The man has a fondness for hookers.  What the hell does he know?  Go through life pretending you don’t have a heart and see how lonely you end up.  Go into a relationship pretending you have no heart and you don’t care and you, my friend, are destined to fail.

7

COMMUNICATE.

He needs to know.  He needs to show.  Vice-versa.  SO IMPORTANT!  Leave no room for doubt.

8

WOW.

Don’t let another person define who you are.  Be the you that YOU want to be and do that on your own.  Don’t count on others for happiness.  I firmly believe we all fare better in relationships (and life) if we go into them having a sense of self and our own personal hopes and dreams.  If we chose to make someone a part of them then that’s great but don’t convince yourself you can’t succeed without that person in your life.  This one could end up in a blog of its own!

I worry about our younger generation.  Is this the kind of information they are picking up?  Praying my kid doesn’t fall for this kind of crap.

Before I go, let me say this.  I totally get that I come across as a bitch and selfish in my relationship related posts.  I’m not.  I mean I can be both but as a rule, I’m not.  The reason for all of this is because I’ve done a ton of soul-searching and contemplating and have gotten to a place where I know what it’ll take to make me happy.  On the flip side, I’ve done just as much OVER-THINKING on where I’ve gone wrong, the mistakes I’ve made and what I can do to change in order to make someone else happy.  Affairs of the heart are a two-way street and it takes two to make them successful and fulfilling.  I just hope that my next boyfriend doesn’t get his love advice from Facebook.

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15 thoughts on “Why Relationships Fail

  1. I think you are dead on.. selfish and bitchy are not words that crossed my mind at all… have I missed something? 😉 and i like your disclaimer lol.. this was very well said. and I couldnt agree more.

      • no not at all.. i mean not from my perspective and ya know what? who really cares – its how you feel and you havent singled anyone out or insulted them – although I am sure in this day and age someone will take offense just because they think they can.. I think you might have said what many think.. and you are a writer.. you can so this sorta of stuff – but i know you have a good heart

        I had a little different take.. lol.. http://runningnakedwithscissors.com/2012/01/08/lamentations-of-a-dick-magnet/#comment-7884.not why overall they fail ..just mine .. i mighta been a little rude..

        the one which is my top number one pet peeve and there is no argument for it… is the text message thing – I can undertand a time here and there – i do it..sometimes I do missthe text but when I get a text from the one who make my heart beat faster… I get butterflies and will answer as soon as it comes in unless i am driving pretty much.. and ya know what – that is not just the beginning – I say if you cant give them that courtesy.. of fairly often as in 19 out of 20 – 99%? then what is the point? texting shows som of the worst in us and the truth is pretty obvious too…

  2. 100% agree 🙂 I think the biggest reason relationships fail is what you’ve alluded to at the end; people get into them without knowing who they really are and rely on another to define them and to make them happy. *insert obnoxious buzzer noise* wrong, people. If you expect someone else to make you happy, know instinctively exactly what you mean/need, and define you as you have no sense of self, it will only “work” temporarily. Be who you are, say what you mean and then you will meet someone who you can share your life with because you already have your shit figured out! xo.

  3. Wow. You are so right… I found your blog and was attracted to the title, ‘Road to Nowhere’ as I have a written piece on my blog titled, ‘Road to Nowhere’ … I am happy to have found you. I like what you have to say! You will see me around! ~Jen

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